I'm so glad I decided to vent earlier this week. The relief I've felt from being open and honest has been awesome. Not quite as cool as your comments, advice and well-wishes, though, so thank you! I decided to decline the offer and have had no regrets. The co-founder emailed me back saying that he respected my decision and would be in touch if their financial situation changes and they are still in need of an RD. Part of saying "no" was my fear of burning bridges, and his response made that worry dissolve.
I had to laugh and read something out-loud to Nate last night. It is from Jesus Calling
, my new devotional (the same one that reminded me to pray, "Jesus, I trust you"). It went like this:
Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert my sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to me, and do things my way, ask me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead, of dashing headlong toward your goal, let me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in my presence.
Wow. Is that not a direct response to my statement, "but I wish I could have a say in WHEN I get specific guidance points?"
Then there's the lemons. My anxiety about whether or not I really want a job has also been calmed by reminders of the cool things there are to do as a stay-at-home mom. Like making lemon curd
with a friend this morning or applesauce with her earlier in the fall. I want to get in a routine of checking for fallen avocados from our tree. YES! It took us five months to discover that we have an avocado tree in our yard. It's a huge tree, and we don't have a fruit picker, so it's a game of beating the squirrels to the unripe jewels so they can come inside and rest in our fruit bowl until their ready. Sarah's dog, Romeo, gets a finder's fee since he is the one that discovered the tree at Thanksgiving, bringing a half-munched avocado into the house.
|Thanks to Jess for the inspiration last February in Utah!|
|The apple tree is past it's prime, but the lemons are marvelous|
|One of the last apples of the season|
|One of two remaining jars of applesauce|
|Our once plentiful source of apples|
|Sharing an avocado each day must keep the doctor away|
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