Sunday, August 17, 2014

Peace Like a River

A few weeks ago, I had a really good problem: whether or not to accept a job offer. I had applied to a clinical nutrition position in late March, every step of the way feeling like things weren't going well. I guess I had failed to remember that things take a while in big hospitals. Before the third interview, described as a "meet and greet" I finally felt like maybe a job at Stanford was really in my future. But I happened to be about 8-weeks pregnant at that interview, so maybe not feeling very energetic or interested in starting something new? I came home and told Nate that I felt like the diabetes team could see through me...I was sure they could tell that I didn't really want the job. Did I though? Not really, even un-pregnant me. There were many pros and cons, but in the end I decided that pediatric diabetes was not what I was aspiring to.

I won't bore you with the internal (and occasionally external...thanks Nate, Marcia, Mom, Tina, Stephanie) dialogue I had before I turned the job down five days after the offer, but it was tough! I was texting with Nate on the morning that I had to let them know. He said, give Lou something quiet to do and pray about it. Cora was sleeping, so I did. At the time we were listening to iTunes radio, some kind of kids station, and right after I finished writing my prayers and felt God say, nope, this isn't the one, the song Peace Like a River by Elizabeth Mitchell came on. We have one of her albums and love it, but I had never heard her rendition of this great, comforting song. I smiled, breathed, thanked God and called the recruiter. It's been about a month since then and I can confidently say I've had no regrets.

Do I still want to work more than one day per week? I think so. But through this process I learned a few things:
  1. God is still speaking and guiding my struggle to balance motherhood with the professional me
  2. I have a passion for wellness nutrition, and would ultimately love to design and manage a wellness program
  3. I need to appreciate the small moments at home, like I used to...

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